New Year, New Me?

With the year quickly coming to an end and a new year approaching I’m sure there are a lot of us who do some pretty serious reflecting during this time (or at least as much as we can while mid holiday frenzy!)   I myself have really been playing ping pong inside of my head with all of my ideas and hopes for the new year.  I’d like to leave some bad (very bad) habits behind me.  My bad habit isn’t quitting smoking, or promising to finally get into the gym or promising my Mom that this is the year I’ll finally let her teach me how to knit (sorry Mom!).  My bad habit is a person.  My bad habit is someone who I’ve let treat me poorly for years, someone who I thought loved me.  Whether it’s a friend, lover, co-worker or family member have you ever let someone continually treat you poorly and just sat back and let it happen?

When you finally are able to see the situation as an outsider looking in, it’s almost astonishing.  A myriad of questions run through your mind with this new sense of clarity. The first one likely being “How could I have let this happen?” It’s a difficult pill to swallow, realizing that you’ve been letting someone walk all over you or treat you in a way you don’t deserve to be treated.  I’ve decided that for the year 2017 I will no longer allow that to happen.  A step I’ve taken to ensure that I will be successful with my resolution is I’ve cut off all contact.  This was hard.  I’m not even going and try and bullshit you, it was and is, extremely difficult.  This is a person I was in a relationship with and at one point wanted to marry to give you an idea of what they meant to me.  I know that “no contact” is the only way to remove him from my life.  This person is not a good person.  He is a textbook narcissist and also has some pretty serious drug and alcohol abuse problems.  To top it off he was also emotionally and physically abusive and before I got myself in even deeper I knew my only choice was to get away from him completely.

Every day, I feel a little stronger and more resolved and happy with my decision to remove this man from my life.  Now is the time to focus on myself, what do I want?  It’s something that I’ve been asking myself a lot lately.  To be quite honest I’m not exactly sure how to answer this question yet, but I’m proud of myself for finally asking.  So for this upcoming year I hope that you will not only make resolutions but also ask yourself what it is that you want…..and then go and get it!